Sunday, April 3, 2011

Attempt at Sanity= Fail

      This blog was supposed to keep me sane, yet, I find myself on the verge of insanity once again!
This week, I have had an immense amount of free time on my hands. When I say immense, I mean everyday  from 2pm to bedtime I have had absolutely nothing to do. Well...I'll be honest. I have things to do, but they're mostly mundane and tragically productive, ex: cleaning my room and finishing my art projects. Actually, those are the only things I have to do at this point. Unless, I were to create painfully boring tasks for myself, like studying for a test a month in advance or starting a project that is due in May. See what I mean? 
     The problems started when my phone was cut off by Metro PCS once again. At first I thought, "It doesn't matter, I don't need it". Boy was I wrong! I really took my limited social contact for granted. I see that now. This unfortunate event has caused me to become entangled in to Facebook's evil, luring web.
    This week has found me glued to the computer! I even tried getting addicted to this Canadian TV drama (sad, I know). However, It made me realize that Canadians aren't just a happier version of Americans...They are Americans. They just say "sorry" differently. Why couldn't a more foreign country have established themselves next to us? I mean, there's Mexico already, why couldn't Brazil or Turkey have been our neighbors? Look people, I love a Canadian as much as the next person, but what I really appreciate is a good foreign culture! 
    Anyways, off my soapbox. I could probably write a long list of reason why my life sucks right now- starting with the unfortunate cellphone situation. But, why complain? It doesn't fix much.  At night, before I go to sleep, I find myself planning ways to get out of this town! I plot it out before remembering that I have no gas, no money and no one to go with (which increases my chances of getting kidnapped...yes...I think about these things). But then I realize, no matter where I go, I am always planning ways to get to the next place. Although, I'll admit, this town is about as dead as it can get.
    The thing is, everyone I thought would be there for me during this transition, is not . And for the first time in perhaps my entire life, I find it hard to have a social life (especially now that my cell phone stole what was left). Not to sound entitled, but most of my life I have been the one reaching out and maintaining friendships. Yet, when I need it the most, I have like 4 friends that actually know how I'm doing on a regular basis.I mean, I get that "You're busy" but c'mon, how long does it really take to send a text or write "How's it goin'" on somebody's Facebook wall? (I spend every waking hour on there know where to find me) Don't get me wrong, I'm not "Super Friend". I haven't maintained some friendships in the way that I ought to. But wow, since I've transferred and haven't heard from many of my friends who were so "sad" I was leaving. Perhaps the dumbest thing is that I stayed an extra semester because I thought I would miss people too much! Too bad the Georgia university systems don't really accommodate for unnecessary semesters out of state. Not saying that it was any one's fault but my own. I have just had too much time to see it all too clearly. 
    Off my soapbox again. I'll just outwardly say that I'm dissatisfied with my life at this point. I need a break. Sadly, I don't get one for another month approximately....then I have to work so not really. I'm sorry, but all my optimism has gone down the drain! And if you really know me, you know how little that was. 
Everything in me is telling me to end this post on a happy note, but I wont. People tend to overreact when they realize that I'm not all sunshine! Big Whoop! I'm a real person. Cynicism intended. 

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