Thursday, March 31, 2011

Songs That Make Me...

1. Clarity- John Mayer
2. Something in the Water- Brooke Fraser
3. Banana Pancakes- Jack Johnson
4. Jack Kerouac- Brooke Fraser
5. Put Your Records On- Corrinne Bailey Rae
6. Let Go- Frou Frou
7. Home- Jack Johnson
8. Firefly- Jimmy Needham
9. Game of Love- Michelle Branch
10. Toes- Norah Jones

1. How to Save a Life- The Fray
2. Stop This Train- John Mayer
3. Split Screen Sadness- John Mayer
4. Back To December- Taylor Swift
5. Talk- Coldplay
6. Scar- Missy Higgins
7. If I Could- Jack Johnson
8. Her Diamonds- Rob Thomas
9. Innocent- Taylor Swift
10. Before It Breaks- Brandie Carlile

Feel High 
1. Taylor Made-Colbie Callait
2. Time's Wastin'- Erykah Badu
3. No Other Way- Jack Johnson
4. What You Thought You Need- Jack Johnson
5. Adrift- Jack Johnson
6. The Girl from Ipanema- Stan Getz & Astrud Gilberto with Joao Gilberto
7. I'd Rather Be With You-  Joshua Radin
8. Heal Over- KT Tunsall
9. Hey Stephen- Taylor Swift
10.  Nothing Left to Lose- Mat Kearney

Feel Sassy
1. Single Ladies- Beyonce
2. Get Up- Ciara
3. The Fear- Lilly Allen
4. Rosa Pastel- Belanova
5. Good Life- One Republic
6. Love is a Battlefield- Pat Benatar
7. Rock With You- Michael Jackson
8.Bust the Windows Out Your Car- Glee
9. Hate on Me- Glee
10. Forget You- Gwyneth Paltrow

I Don't Think I Was Prepared for This...

Today I was checking the status of an application I sent in. Before I could even see the results, this message appeared:

Admission to the [blank] has become increasingly competitive and selective over the last decade. If you find that you have been offered admission, please be sensitive to your friends and classmates to whom we may not have been able to extend the same offer. If, on the other hand, you learn that your application has been denied, please understand that [blank]  receives far more applications from competitive applicants than we can accommodate within our Board of Regents enrollment cap.
If you would like to discover your status here, please consider first whether you are in the best place to receive either good or bad news. If you are at a public computer in school, at a library, or your place of work, we advise that you either wait until you are at home with family members or else in an appropriately private location.
I don't know what their intentions were, but checking my status got like, 10 times scarier after I read this message! I felt like I needed an adult. Then it got me thinking, how many people have had public breakdowns just because they didn't get accepted? It must have been a lot to cause them to have to mentally and emotionally prepare students  for the result. I was SO not prepared to read this! 

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

The San Juan Theory

Perhaps the earliest rendering of A San Juan
    I'll admit it, I have a deep fascination with mystery and conspiracy. Some have even claimed that my imagination runs too wild. Granted, as a young sprout, I did read my fair share of Nancy Drew and Goosebumps books. I'm sure this contributed to my my need to be sucked in to quixotic mysteries. The whole Harry Potter/ Twilight phase didn't help either. But now, as an adult, I appreciate more sophisticated mysteries. No longer does Nancy Drew satiate my need for mystery. Indeed, I have moved on to bigger and better things, like the History Channel. Nothing pulls me in like a good episode of "Ancient Discoveries" or "Monster Quest"! While I still entertain certain conspiracies such as Drake being Barack Obama's illegitimate son, Barack Obama's brief and private affair with Oprah, the fact that Chris Brown and Keisha Cole are indeed the same person and finally, the channeling of Michael Jackson's spirit into Bruno Mars ( I mean...He kind of rose up pretty quick after Michael died); I have never been more sure about the mystery that I will expose to you in this blog. 
    Let me start by saying that this is no shallow theory. I have observed certain patterns over time. I have slowly collected data and tested the waters (pun intended). I have concluded that there are very legitimate grounds for my theory. This theory is as follows:

In every mid-sized to large body of water, there is an existing creature that is (a) mysterious and unknown or (b) unnaturally large; this creature is referred to as "A San Juan"

A San Juan that may be more familiar to the post modern human
     Let me explain. My theory began long ago when I went fishing in my fathers pond. There were mostly little fish, like what you would use to bate bigger fish. Nothing worth catching. Then, I spotted it....The San Juan. This fish was unnaturally large for such a small body of water. I tried by best to catch it, but it eluded me. 
My theory began to develop more when I was at my church's spring break trip. There was a small lake in which we would perform recreational activities. One day, as I was leisurely taking a swim, someone told me, "Don't swim over that hole!".  Naturally, I asked, "What hole"? Then  I realized.....that extremely large, dark spot at the bottom of the lake wasn't merely a "muddy spot"....It was a gaping cave of no return hole in which some baneful creature lived....It was where The San Juan lived.
     Fast Forward (I'll forgo telling you about the other minor incidents), I am in college at the beautiful PBA. We have what is called an Intercoastal waterway. I already had my suspicions. The water was always disquietingly murky. Eventually, my suspicions were validated. Some people had spotted a long,abnormal wake moving about the intercoastal which they called, "The Muck Monster". I was not fooled. It was The San Juan. 
Yes, this too is a San Juan
     Finally, there is the ocean. The ocean is a breeding ground for San Juans everywhere. And oh yes, there is a San Juan of the ocean. The story has been building up for years with legends of strange sea creatures and ancient drawings. There is a San Juan lurking in the shadows of the ocean floor. Just wait and see! 
You see people, the stories you hear of The Lochness Monster (probably the most famous San Juan), enormous squid and of strange river creatures are true! Keep your eyes open because I'm sticking to my guns on this one. There is always a San Juan lurking out there....

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

The Saddest Thing

I'm at it again! I, am writing poetry! I don't really know how to feel about it. I mean, on one hand, it's another way to express myself artistically. On the other hand it's a little too angsty and emotional to fully throw myself in to. Nonetheless, it has been my mood these past few days; therefore, I have decided to shame express myself by posting the first poem I've written in years. Keep in mind that I am very rusty. The poem is called, "The Saddest Thing"

The Saddest Thing

I was once everything you wanted
Before you realized I, was me
I know you wouldn't dare say it aloud
But darling, I can see
A flicker of disappointment
A silent plea
That turns in to a rolling flame of "What ifs" and "If Onlys"

You have always reassured me
But alas I see
The misty grey of rainy days
That arrived right on beat
Ruining your perfectly planned picnic

Bitter regret stages itself between you and all you've ever dreamed
A dismal view of what's ahead taints all you've ever seen
I will alway remind you of who you couldn't be
You will remind me that I took everything.

Sideways glances over the dinner table 
Teardrops in your coffee
Only reminds me that I was never good enough for you
And the saddest thing is.....
You are right

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Remember the Poor

     Last week, I found this picture while doing research for an art project. The moment I saw it, my heart broke! I my eyes began to fill with tears. I wanted nothing more than to be able to reach through the screen and hold this child -to tell him that everything is going to be okay. That this is the worse part and everything gets better from here. But no. The sobering reality is that it usually doesn't get better. The reality is that there are millions upon millions of children who wake up every day to this kind of sadness. 
   Like many sickeningly fortunate Americans, I lie to myself. I tell myself that that I remember the poor. I think," Somebody will eventually do something". And the worst- "Its not as bad as it looks, they're used to it". As if people actually don't mind that they are enslaved to soul battering poverty. 
     I know that if  I remembered this child's face everyday of my life, my life wouldn't be the same. I wouldn't waste my money on excessive clothes and make up. My thoughts wouldn't run around in circles screaming ,"This is my world! My world! My world! Me! Me! Me!" 
    It's so easy to see pictures like this one on the internet or TV and shake our heads saying, "It's ashame". We allow ourselves continue on as if we never saw the misery that is someone else's life. As if there aren't people all over the world who aren't suffering while I am microwaving my Lean Cuisine. If I were to be honest, I would reveal to you that I don't truly remember the poor. I might give them a passing thought here and there, but  my thoughts never really dare to venture past that cloud swirling around me crying "Me! Me! Me!". This saddens me. Rather, it convicts me. 
    You see, there are SO MANY people who just suffer. Everyday. They're not just across the globe in Uganda, they're in your city, they're in your town. Now, you might be saying, "I know, but what can I do about it?" Listen, I don't expect you to wake up everyday of your life mourning all or the sadness in this world. You would need therapy. Let me be honest again when I say that I don't have all the answers. You may be called to action in many different ways. I will ask of you this...but  just know that you've already been asked to do surprises here. Remember the poor. Even just remembering can spur action, especially when It's your turn to act. If need be, don't forget this little boy's face. And I will be conscious to do the same.

Saturday, March 26, 2011

Bible Funnies

 Most people don't recognize how much humor is sprinkled all over the Bible. Don't get me wrong, the Bible is to be reverenced. I mean, it is the word of God and everything. And, my my, can't it be funny at times! So, I'm going to share with you the few funny little things I find over time! This morning's "funny" will get us started, because it really does take the cake!

1. Galatians 5:12. Here, Paul is ranting about circumcision. If you don't already know, it was a big deal at the time. It was one of the things that divided "Moses following Jews" and "Jews for Jesus". Here goes:

"As for those agitators, I wish they would go the whole way and emasculate themselves" 

First of all, ROFL. Second if you don't get it, he's saying instead of arguing about circumcision, they should just cut their "special parts" off and shut their mouths.

2. Mark 9:22-23. This one goes without explaining. 

[ The man said to Him], "But if you can do anything, take pity on us and help us"
Jesus says, "' If you can?" ( <-- Mocking this man because Duh- he's Jesus, what do you mean "If he can"?) 
"Everything is possible for him who believes."

3. Numbers 22:28. Balam's Donkey (a.k.a That Poor Donkey). So, this dude Balam is mindlessly riding his donkey down the street, when the donkey sees an angel! Like any intelligent creature, the donkey tries his darnedest to dodge this angel. But, noooo.  Balam doesn't have enough sense to trust an animals instincts, so you know what he does? He beats that poor donkey!  Well guess what, that donkey done had enough! So here's where the verse comes in:

Then the LORD opens the donkey's mouth ( Ahhhh SHOOOOOT) and the donkey yelled at said to Balam,

 " [ Hold up!] What have I done to you to make you beat me three times?" ( Personally, I imagine this donkey with a ghetto tone. If need be, you may imagine him as the character "donkey" from  Shrek.) 

Balam replies, "You have made a fool of me, if I had a sword in my hand right now, I would kill you" (WHOA! Take it eeeeeasy!)

The donkey replies (still in ghetto character) " [This fool done lost his mind!] Am I not your own donkey? The one you have always  ridden, to this day! Have I ever done this before?"

Balam simply says, "No". ( Uuuunh huh...I bet he feels real stupid right now.) 

Then the angel f the LORD appears...I'm pretty sure he'll think about it the next time he wants to pop off at that poor donkey. But donkey showed him, that's for sure!

4. Job 19:17. Sad, but just a little funny. Job is venting to the LORD when he says:

"My breath is offensive to my wife..." 

I'm ma need you to do something about that.

To Be continued.....

Friday, March 25, 2011

So Darn Inconsiderate!

People are SO darn inconsiderate! I mean, really, when did people lose the general concept of  politeness?  
This morning ( I use the word loosely ),around 2am, I was warmly nestled in to my covers. You know that moment when your fight with partial insomnia is almost over and that calm, gentle wave of sleep has just began to sweep over you. That's right, I was about to get my sleep on in the best possible way! 
Just when I had almost attained this blissful sleep....Something happens. 
A car pulls up in to the space in front of my apartment and BLASTS rap music as loud as possible. Now when I say "loud", I mean it could have playing in my very room and it would have sounded the same! But don't worry...It gets worse. The occupants of this vehicle proceed to get out of the car and yell unnecessarily loud! They were obviously drunk. To add insult to my already unbearable injury, the song was just awful! It was basically the repetition of two words, "Black and Yellow"...yes.... The entire chorus is comprised of a single man saying "Black and Yellow" over and over again. I won't begin to describe to you the obscenities that filled my head. 
Finally, when that....display was over, I thought I was in the clear! I settled back in to my comfy cocoon of covers and pillows and began to go back to sleep. But, NOOOOO. I began to hear a males voice outside my door. Yes, my roommate had invited a boy over at 2am. I know what you're thinking- it's worse. He was invited over to play video games... If you've ever heard a guy playing video games, you would know that it's NOT quiet. As I lay in my bed beginning to come to terms with the fact that I would not be going to sleep tonight, I shamelessly listened in on their conversation. I came to two conclusions:
1. There are two types of guys in this world- those who watch Family Guy and those who don't.
2. This guy would be annoying under ANY circumstance.

Anyways, by some miracle I ended up going back to sleep. However, I almost over slept my class in the morning because I was so tired! My day went on as usual....which brings this venting full circle, to this point. Tonight. The night when I'm sicker than ever. The toilet was clogged and abandoned by a person who will remain nameless.... lets just say she likes boys who play video games (cough, cough). So now, I have to go on the rest of the night wondering what i'm going to do....when "something" needs to be done. So darn inconsiderate....smh

Thursday, March 24, 2011

I'm Going to Hate Myself When I Read This Later...

Have you ever just had a BAD idea? I'm talking about so bad, you couldn't even say it out loud? Like, If you were to act out this idea, you might as well just forget about anything ever being normal again. Well, this week, I've had a BAD idea! The worst part is...I can't lose it! 
Okay, first, calm down. I'm not going to rob a liquor store or anything! If it were even a fraction of that bad I would NOT be posting it all over the internet.
Second, don't get excited because I will not even utter the sheer horror (<---exaggeration) of this torturous inclination! 
However, It got me thinking, 

"Why do I have such destructive tendencies? What makes me allow myself to entertain such a bad, bad idea? And how have I even convinced myself that this could actually work? Sheer insanity, that's what."

See people, I've come to realize something. The more I entertain this idea as a possibility, the more real it becomes to me. Then, do you know what I have to do every time it becomes more real....slash that reality to itsy, bitsy teeny, weeny pieces- And yes, it sucks EVERY time. Why? Because it has too much of a grip on me already and it can't go "No Nutha Futha" as my mama would say! 
Times like these, I wish I had my best friend to give me advice, but nooooo, she's off serving the Lord and helping people get saved! Of course that was sarcasm, I share her joy in being able to do that. 
See, part of being captive to a bad, bad idea is being alone in its company. It's just you and Mr. Big Bad Idea duking it out. So here's where you come're reading this so it helps in some small way I guess.I am convinced that I see resolve around the corner so I'll keep you posted on how it plays out! After it does, I am sure that I'm going to feel like the biggest idiot for writing this....

21 Things to Do While I'm 21

1. Get on Facebook a lot less
2. Meet new people and make new friends
3. Write a rap song
4. Rap a rap song
5. Clean my room more
6. Be less shy
7. Be more open
8. Be less cynical 
9. Be more honest about what I think and feel
10. Say "I Love You" more
11. Get another tattoo
12. Buy another dress from Anthropologie
13. Shoot a creative photo shoot
14. Paint a life size picture
15. Register my business
16. Sew an article of clothing
17. Get a secret puppy or kitten.....maybe bird (<--mostly for decoration. Dont judge. bird cages are pretty)
18. Try to surf 
19. Learn a martial art
20. Learn to play guitar....more
21. Slowly incorporate an accent in to my daily speech. I'm thinking southern bell or British, I can pull those off easily. 

My Two Cents

Wow! My first, official blog! It feels kind of nice to divert from my poor, illegitimate excuse of a Facebook "note". As a result of pouring over my friend's (lets call her Suzzie) blog, I created one of my very own. Why, you ask? Because I am so self absorbed that I think people need to read my thoughts on a regular basis. Sad but true if you really think about it. I am also starting this blog  to process my daily "funnies",  deep thoughts, as well as vent a little...maybe...probably. When it comes down to it, I guess this is mostly for me- and for you too! At best this will keep me semi-sane, and you well entertained. I happen to think my life quite interesting if I do say so myself. 
"easy peasy lemon squeezy".....i felt the need to say that as it has been stuck in my head all day.
Hope you enjoy my two cents!