Monday, February 27, 2012

My Year of Break-Ups

     Yesterday I celebrated my 22nd birthday! I've noticed that birthdays always make you asses the etire last year of your life as much as possible! I can definitely say that my 21st year on earth was different from my other years. There were some successes, some failures, some awkward moments (of course) and some very honest moments. This year has changed me in so many ways, yet somehow kept me the same. When I think about the past year, I think the word, "break-ups". For me, this year has been a year of break-ups...No...Not with boys, but with everything I was used to.
     It all started with my break-up with my college of 2.5 years and is now ending with the break-up from my most jovial and consistent companion, my puppy.  Throughout this year, I have had break-ups with friends that I thought would be there forever, plans that I thought were fool-proof, dreams I held extremely close, things I thought I wanted and even with my own self. I wont lie, it has been tough. Really tough. But, at some point you realize that very few things are permanent. It helps you let things go and just live. Part of living life is letting go of the past and treating each day like a new beginning.
     Three years ago, I would have never thought that I would go from living at the beach, to living in the middle of nowhere, to living in an apartment in Athens, with a dog whose days are numbered... Much of my journey was very lonely. I have been in different towns, with different people and had different experiences. It's all made me a little bit tougher in ways I wouldn't have ever imagined.
     You see, part of going through a break-up is that it makes you stronger and able to move forward. At 22 I am not entirely the same person I was at 21 (naturally). So this year, I look forward to learning new things and becoming the person that fits best in my skin.

Thursday, February 2, 2012

Why Nice Guys Get Put in "The Friend Zone"

"Nonthreatening Genitalia"

                                   Have you ever seen this before?


     When I first saw this little "Nice Guy" advertisement I couldn't resist rolling my eyes. I thought, " Not ANOTHER guy complaining about being in the 'Friend Zone'"!  By way of another blog, I worked through this whole idea of the "Nice Guy" and why he just can't seem to ever finish first (poor thing). To keep it simple, this blog is to let you "Nice Guys" know what you're doing wrong...A little harsh, I know. But I appreciate you guys too much to let you finish last!

     If you're ever wanted to know why women like "Bad Boys", here it is: We actually don't. We like men who are brave enough not to muddle through life. We like me who are assertive and are not afraid to back down from a challenge. We like men who know what they want and aren't afraid to do what it takes to get it (within reason). It just so happens that "Bad Boys" are more comfortable being assertive and taking risks. That's not to say that that's what all women want, but I'll just let you do the math.

The quintessential "Nice guy" has been boiled down to three words:

By no means is this true, but with ideas like that floating around, no wonder nice guys finish last!

Here's the Problem: 
A "Nice Guy" is content to listen to a girl cry, vent and whine for hours...and hours...and hours. Spend way too much "quality time", wait on her hand and foot.... And then wonder why the girl doesn't see him as dating material. Do you see what's wrong with that picture? I have girlfriends for situations like those! If you can easily be replaced by a girl, don't wonder why you're in the friend zone...slap yourself!

      "Nice Guys" end up in the friend zone because they're too scared to to get out of the friend zone... Or they weren't assertive enough in the beginning to admit their intentions, hence the idea that "Nice Guys" are passive. The problem has nothing to do with the fact that you're shy (look guys, we know it's not easy). The problem is that you let something that you desperately wanted linger right before your eyes, within arms reach, and you didn't take a hold of it because you were too scared. Correct me if I'm wrong, but do "Bad Boys" have these problems? No. Because they see what they want, and they go for it (be it good or bad). So don't be upset if you're in the dreaded "Friend Zone", when you've conveniently positioned yourself there. And don't assume girls automatically know your intentions. 
    Don't go getting all bitter with women and turn into a player (we already know that's played out this year anyways) just because you never figured out how to grow a pair and approach the woman you actually want. 
     However, you should understand being a "Nice Guy" doesn't entitle you to women everywhere. Don't rank yourself in comparison to the lowest type of guys. Yeah, you're much better than Chris Brown, but that don't make you Tim Tebow or anything...
   Yes, rejection does happen. She just might not be interested and that's OK. I'm sure there are girls you're not interested in either. You just get back up and move forward. I know guy's ego's are fragile, but risk really can bring reward. 

In conclusion, "Nice Guys", you're fantastic! We really appreciate that there are men out there who still believe in respecting women and treating them right! So get out there and don't be afraid to ask for what you want! There are plenty of women who are waiting for a nice guy to sweep them off their feet. They want to start a fun and exciting journey with YOU...not a just "nice" journey. The friend zone is a completely appropriate zone....for friends. If you want more, don't waste your time and feelings. Be clear and seize the moments. Risk brings reward...most times....just don't be stupid.