Thursday, June 12, 2014
It has been many moons since I last wrote a blog post! Forgive me if I'm a little rusty, but I have to start somewhere, am I right? So naturally, the first subject of my return to the blogsphere is SEX (I bet I have your attention now)! Yeah, I know, shocking. Especially since I've never written about this subject. Rightfully so, it's so taboo and leaves the writer (me) vulnerable to a myriad of judgement and opinions. But recently, I became very irritated with a particular ideal about sex that really bugs me. It's a statement that has been made against premarital sex for too long now. Now before you get all " I can't believe she said that", let me explain.....
Have you ever heard the phrase "Why would he buy the cow when he can get the milk for free"? Every time I hear it, I want to slap someone (usually the person who said it). First of all, I'm not a cow. Second of all, I am not to be bought. I feel this phrase is used far too often and is held as some kind of common truth, especially by good christian girls and boys (especially in the south) . As if by some magical power, subscribing to this ideal will have men throwing engagement rings at you and you'll be swimming in a pool of diamonds.
I just wonder if someone ever stopped to think if this phrase ever insinuated the fact that a woman's "milk" is one of the most compelling factors for men to wed them. Don't get me wrong, I am 100% for waiting for marriage to have sex. I think it is the best and the right way to do things. Yet, I cannot dismiss the notion that "buying the cow to get the milk" boils down to sex being the most valuable thing a woman can offer a man. At the end of the day, I would want someone to desire to marry me because of the person I am, not what I can do for them. People should certainly have natural desires for the person they're with, but I do not believe it should proceed any emotional or spiritual connection. I feel that far too often a woman's value is in part defined by her sexual history. Throwing around phrases like "Why buy the cow when you get the milk for free" only perpetuates this. I have to wonder even how men who use this phrase think about women as a whole. The phrase is not only an affront to women, but also a slight to males suggesting that their main motivation for having a woman is sex. It also suggests that they can not think or make decisions that are not influenced by sex. Granted, this may be the case for plenty of men out here (lol).
Call me naive, but at the end of the day, when you promise to have a future with another person, I believe it should because you truly love the person he/she is. Not because she wouldn't give you "the milk" unless you bought her, plus she's not crazy and she's cute... so why not? I'm just sayin'.