Friday, December 2, 2011
Oh romance, love, affection, mushy, gushy-ness...How you make me BARF! Lol, Just kidding! Ya'll know that if that were true I wouldn't be writing this blog. I have no interest in false emotions or virtual defense mechanisms! That stuff's for the birds. I'm just here to vent about my own personal situation. Let me start by saying, I'm not sad about being single! I would never trade in my time being single, it has been some of the most rich and fulfilling years...and years...and years of my life. Don't worry guys, I'm only 21 so the situation is only at caution level yellow. Actually...I'm almost 22, but no worries, still yellow....maybe its just because I like the color yellow.
I've managed to almost go through my entire college years, single. Since college is rumored to be a time for dating and relationships, I assumed that I would have a boyfriend after the 1st semester of college- Boy was I wrong!
So, as a lonely college student with few friends and a limited social life, I did what any savvy, clueless, college student would do...I started an online dating account (you have no idea how much it shames me to admit this publicly. Shame upon me and my family). Anyways,as I read through many emails from men who had obviously not read my profile and ONLY looked at my picture, I came to two conclusions. #1. Most of the men on this site are probably psychologically unstable. (as a rule, I usually assume that everyone has at least 1 psychological disorder) and #2. Most people are shallow and they really only care about themselves. This may sound bitter, but I assure you, there is truth in that. Sure, I talked to a few guys, one stopped talking to me because I told him I made a turkey sandwich for dinner. My profile picture is of me cooking so I guess he assumed that I made gourmet dinners every night. To that I must say, "WTF?". Another guy I talked to ended up being, like, clinically depressed. He had a great personality, but crazy just can't hide itself. I'm talking to a British guy now...I'm sure it won't go anywhere. I know, "give it a chance" blah, blah, blah! There's no substitute for intuition guys. Lastly, I recently began talking to this great Christian guy who can draw, sing and dance! He's really nice, but you know what, It probably won't work out either, because good things just don't happen to me, romance-wise. It's just what it is. I know, you're like "No Tanisha! Have hope!" To that I'd say, " Go ahead and put money on it! (No seriously, I NEED gas money!)"
Ever since I can remember, guys have treated me like crap. Okay, maybe not like crap, but close to it. You know those girls that a guy goes out of their way to sweep off their feet? I'm not that girl. The most I can get is a half-assed (excuse the language, but there's no way to half-ass the word" half-ass") attempt to be interested. I can be liked, appreciated, but never truly treasured. I once heard a quote that said, "To be known is to be loved and to be loved is to be known". I, want to be known. I'm talking about fully known by another person, like, past, present, future, uncensored, unashamed, fully and organically known. I want to never have to wonder if you think I'm awkward, weird, beautiful, incomparable or lovely. I don't want to even have to guess. I want my life to fall in to rhythm with your life as if we were never off beat! Lets get this straight, I don't expect any man to be perfect, flawless or even close to the infallible love that's in the Lord. I don't even want him to be! I'm so tired of hearing, " Be a better person! Be a better person and when you're good enough, love will be given to you!" Whether or not it's true, the frustration of not being able to share myself completely with another person persist.
In the meantime, I think I'll quit the online dating...maybe, and sink into the other issues I have in front of me. I will however, let you know how it goes with the British and Christian guy ;). Thanks for reading! I'll update you soon!
For Now, Enjoy This:
Thursday, December 1, 2011
Anyways, though lengthy, this is where I am at this point. I will not abandon you again my few, but dear readers! Thanks for reading!
Alright, I'll admit it. I've abandoned my blogging for too long! It's not like I have a good excuse either, I have plenty of time! I guess you could say I've been uninspired to write lately....I'm not sure if it's a good thing or not.
So, this blog is to catch you lovely readers up on life as of late. Lets see...where did we leave off? Oh. I remember!
I had just announced to you that I was leaving the gloomy doldrum that was the Georgia Southern. I couldn't have been happier! Fast forward to summer 2011. This summer can be summed up in three words: "guy-friends", "exercise" and "Hispanics". Let me explain. I feel like I spent my entire summer with my guy-friend...lets call him...Giovanni. If you've ever had a close guy-friend, you know that it can get frustrating to spend a lot of time with them. By the end of the summer I wanted to hug him and wring his neck at the same time! Well, Giovanni is obsessed with fitness, like, so obsessed, he could probably be on the show "My weird addiction" or perhaps more appropriately, "True Life: I'm addicted to working out". Anyways, we scored some gym memberships and worked out everyday. I'm sad to say that I didn't lose a significant amount of weight because I think the universe wants me to be a chubbster forever. The bad part about being a chubbster is that everybody thinks they have a right to an opinion to your body. The "If I were skinnier..." always creeps up in your mind all the time, not because I'm self-conscious, but because its true. Its gets to be so frustrating that I'm like, "If one more person pokes my effing pooch, I'm gonna go ham on their face!" I'm not the freakin' Pilsbury dough girl! ...(woo-sah). Anyways, after exercizing for a month and losing only 5 lbs, our limited gym membership expired. While Giovanni and the Gym (which, by the way, is a good title for a documentary that tracks his addiction) were happening, I found myself spending a lot of time with Giovanni's family, otherwise known as "My hispanic family". I've known them since I was in 9th grade! Every Tuesday we would go to the Latin American Association to practice Spanish and help those who were learning English. That was pretty fun actually, we met a lot of great people that we got to see week after week!
|This is the building most of my classes are in!|
UGA is a wonderful school! My classes are the most challenging that I've ever taken and guess what...I'm only failing one! :D. Starting at this school was difficult, of course. I had to learn an entire bus system to find my classes. Did I mention my classes were hard? I didn't know anyone and...Did I mention my classes were hard? I came home every night to an empty room and a seemingly inactive online social life (thanks for nothing facebook!). So, I know what you're thinking, "Just get a boyfriend you dummy!". Nope. Because of course, UGA girls got it goin' on! I bet when the guys get on this campus, they don't even know what to do! I've always prided myself on my simple, relaxed, Martha Stewarty look, but that doesn't cut it here! So no boyfriend! So what was the next option? A PUPPY! Yes, I got a puppy 2 months after I got here! Her name is Missy. She is expensive, messy, hyper active and the sweetest thing you ever did see! I'm up to my elbows in puppy pee almost every day and her poop makes me want to vomit. However, the best part of my day is when she snuggles next to me at night!
Slowly but surely, I've gained friends and found things to get involved with! It turns out my roommate situation turned out marvelously. They are the best I could have gotten under the situation! I can't even believe that the semester is finally over. Sometimes I forget that this is my first semester here actually! At times I miss PBA. Life was easier, the experiences were priceless and the memories I made there were unforgettable, but I don't regret leaving. Being back in Atlanta has taught me to appreciate family and cherish friends that have been there no matter where I am!