Acceptance.

    If someone were to ask me what's the single biggest thing blocking peace and joy in my life; I would tell them that it's acceptance. I don't know if I ever realized this before, but acceptance is a major factor in the way I perceive negative things or events. It's no wonder its the last step in the stages of grief. It takes 4 other steps just to get there, and they all suck! It's strange to me how I landed on this resolution. I mean, you would think it would be positive thinking or philanthropy  that would lead me to a life of happiness, right? I do believe both of those are fundamental steps towards happiness, but for me; it's acceptance. 

    See, I have a HUGE problem accepting things. Thinking back, I've always had this problem, but never recognized it. If someone were to ask me how I deal with problems, I would honestly say I just avoid them...even if they already exist and are staring me in the face (or calling me 4 times a day because I missed a payment). They're right there in front of me, but I won't choose to accept them. I just dodge them as best as I can, until I have to deal with the consequences. NOW you see why this is a problem? A HUGE problem?!

    My "acceptance problem" applies to both little and big things. I refuse to accept the things that have happened and I refuse to let them go at the same time. Instead, I make a drawer in my mind of all the things that have happened to me that I can't change. Whenever something else bad happens, I just open that drawer and stuff it in there along with everything else. I go and visit that drawer whenever I'm feeling down. I look over all the other things that I can't change and can't accept, then I close the drawer until next time. The problem is....that drawer can get full and once it does all of my problems start spilling out in other places in my life. Places where they shouldn't be, like in my relationships, on my plate and in my wallet! It's so much easier to dwell upon and complain about your problems, than to move on from them. The scary thing is, some people live their ENTIRE lives like this. They get old, hardened and they let all the things they refuse to accept become who they are. It ends up eating away at their happiness and turning them into people they never wanted to be. I think if many people could learn to accept that things happened, accept that they can't change it and keep moving; it would free them in unimaginable ways! It would free ME in unimaginable ways.

   I don't usually write such personal posts, but I'm writing in hopes that this might help someone who has the same problem. At the very least, it keeps me accountable! As I'm growing older, I realize the world can be a cold place. Bad things can happen, no matter how much you try to protect yourself. This truth is hard for me to accept, but in accepting it, it makes me stronger. If you can relate, I pray that it makes you stronger too. 

I Wish People Would Stop Saying This About Sex...

   


        It has been many moons since I last wrote a blog post! Forgive me if I'm a little rusty, but I have to start somewhere, am I right? So naturally, the first subject of my return to the blogsphere is SEX (I bet I have your attention now)! Yeah, I know, shocking. Especially since I've never written about this subject. Rightfully so, it's so taboo and leaves the writer (me) vulnerable to a myriad of judgement and opinions. But recently, I became very irritated with a particular ideal about sex that really bugs me. It's a statement that has been made against premarital sex for too long now. Now before you get all " I can't believe she said that", let me explain.....
      Have you ever heard the phrase "Why would he buy the cow when he can get the milk for free"? Every time I hear it, I want to slap someone (usually the person who said it). First of all, I'm not a cow. Second of all, I am not to be bought. I feel this phrase is used far too often and is held as some kind of common truth, especially by good christian girls and boys (especially in the south) . As if by some magical power, subscribing to this ideal will have men throwing engagement rings at you and you'll be swimming in a pool of diamonds.
     I just wonder if someone ever stopped to think if this phrase ever insinuated the fact that a woman's "milk" is one of the most compelling factors for men to wed them. Don't get me wrong, I am 100% for waiting for marriage to have sex. I think it is the best and the right way to do things. Yet, I cannot dismiss the notion that "buying the cow to get the milk" boils down to sex being the most valuable thing a woman can offer a man. At the end of the day, I would want someone to desire to marry me because of the person I am, not what I can do for them. People should certainly have natural desires for the person they're with, but I do not believe it should proceed any emotional or spiritual connection. I feel that far too often a woman's value is in part defined by her sexual history. Throwing around phrases like "Why buy the cow when you get the milk for free" only perpetuates this. I have to wonder even how men who use this phrase think about women as a whole. The phrase is not only an affront to women, but also a slight to males suggesting that their main motivation for having a woman is sex. It also suggests that they can not think or make decisions that are not influenced by sex.  Granted, this may be the case for plenty of men out here (lol).
       Call me naive, but at the end of the day, when you promise to have a future with another person, I believe it should because you truly love the person he/she is. Not because she wouldn't give you "the milk" unless you bought her, plus she's not crazy and she's cute... so why not? I'm just sayin'.

My Autumn "To Do" List!

                           Autumn To Do List

Fall is finally here! It truly is the most wonderful time of the year (Christmas is clearly in denial). Therefore, I have made a list of things that, naturally, have to be done during this lovely season! I definitely welcome any friends to partake in these festivities with me because that's just makes it all the more wonderful! So please, if you see anything you'd like to do just let me know! I'm so excited to get the ball rolling on this "To Do" list!

        
   1. Go on a camping trip
               

                                                         

                        2. Get lost in a corn maze

                                                                                          

                                                       

             3. Eat a gourmet Caramel Apple

                                                                                        

        4. Bake a delicious fall treat from Pinterest

5. Make smores

6 .Go apple picking

                                                                                   

7.Go on a Hay Ride

                                                                               

8.Get out of the city and star gaze on a clear night

^I'm about that life^

9. Carve a pumpkin

                                                                           

10. Take my nephew trick-or-treating

Notes to My Future Husband

Okay guys, I've caught on to the "To my Future Husband/Wife" train....Perhaps a little late, but that's alright! Anyways, I found out that photo-blogging takes just as much time as regular blogging, if not more. I hope you enjoy some of my little notes!


                             Notes To My Future Husband

"Sista Props"

      Sometimes I sit and wonder why us women don't have a standard, secret code of communication. I mean, guys have a "Bro Code"! They have a set of generally unspoken rules that define what is or is not socially acceptable in the heterosexual male world. By no means am I suggesting we make up a "lady code" or anything, I mean, we're kind of above that. Besides, society places so many unspoken codes on us already there's just no need to make things more complicated. What I'm suggesting is that we give each other "Sista props". Yes, I do wish I could have come up with a cooler name for it, but I just can't at the moment. However, I'm open to suggestions.

     Every now and then, when I'm in public, I just want to stop and give some women some "Sista Props". Like, If I see a woman in public with her children and they're all well behaved, I just want to stop her and be like "That's right Mama!"...and give her an approving nod. "Sista Props" can even be extended to women of the same age. If I see a girl in public and she's out with a good, honest, stand-up guy, I feel like it should be socially acceptable to give her an covert " Go 'head girl", accompanied with a wink and perhaps even a fist bump...as long as it goes unseen. I also love to give "Sista Props" out when I see older or "curvy" women out running! Sometimes I feel the deep desire to yell a solid "Whooooo! Get It" out my car window when I pass them by.....but I realize that might be startling, so I don't.
    Anywho, I think that it should now be completely socially acceptable to give discrete "Sista Props" out to other women in public. I mean, Michelle Obama gets MAJOR "Sista Props" from me all the time, I don't see why other women shouldn't. A little public encouragement from woman to woman might strengthen the sisterhood, instead of perpetuating competition.....Just a thought!

10 Things I Wish I Would Have Told Myself 4yrs Ago.

     School is back in session! Well, for most of you it has been for a few weeks now. While many of you have already graduated, I am suited up for another year of college life! I don't mind though, I look forward to spending more time at this place. Starting my last fall semester as an undergrad got me thinking back to 4 years ago when I started out as a little freshman. It's crazy how so much changes within the span of four years, isn't it? Some of you are still finishing up college, some of you are working on masters degrees, some of you are traveling the world, some of you are married or planning a wedding and some of you are expecting your first little one! It amazes me how much time can change everything! Thinking back to when I was a college freshman, I can't help but notice the ways that I've changed as well. That is why I came up with a list of 10 things I wish I would have told myself 4 years ago. I hope this will make some of you laugh and remind others of you to live your life to the fullest!

10. Tsunamis occur FAR less often on the southern Florida coast than you think.
I spent an unspeakable amount of time in my freshman year thinking that a tsunami would suddenly occur. I seriously thought that at some random moment, while I was laying in the sand, a 50ft tall wave was going to randomly come crashing on the shore. I spent so much time fearing that this would happen, that I scarcely got in the water! I can't believe how irrational I was, nor can I believe how many great beach days were tainted by my fear of this impending tsunami.

9. Stay AWAY from the Mountain Dew!
Mountain Dew is like the crack cocaine of the soda world! It's SO addictive and SO bad for you! I solely blame Mountain Dew for the awful freshman fifteen...that never went away. Seriously people, Mountain Dew is the glue that binds your fat together in all the wrong places! Every time I would drink it, I would get this sick rush, like a drug addict! It was SO good! But never again folks, never again...

8.Don't be so awkward.
I'm not sure if you know this by now but...I'm awkward. Not all the time but, more often than I'd like. Awkwardness can be useful at times...I can't think of any examples right now but....I'm sure there's at least one....Maybe. Anyways, in a small Christian college environment, awkwardness is hastily equated to flirting. I never quite figured out "Small Christian College Boy Etiquette". I'm still not sure if you're supposed to completely ignore them, be reserved, yet friendly, or just be super friendly. I suppose my confusion contributed to my awkwardness but, nothing runs guy friends off like the assumption that you're flirting with them. I wish I was more suave!

7. Travel More. 
It's so much easier to travel when you don't have to pay for it out of pocket! I wish I would have done Study Abroad of gone on a mission trip while I was younger. It seems so much harder now. If you have the opportunity to travel, go for it! The experience is invaluable!

6. It's okay not to be okay.
I spent so much time in my early college years pretending to be all "sunshine and flowers". It's not that I was gloomy and full of angst, but I feel that I tried too hard to hide the side of me that was hurting. If I would have realized that it was okay not to be okay, I would have been a lot more okay with myself too.

5. Talk Less.
There are those numerous times where my mouth ran way too much about all the wrong things! Sometimes it's best not to be over opinionated and judgmental. Your first thought isn't always the right one. Sometimes you shouldn't speak until you've had time to think on the matter. I can remember plenty of times I've said things that I seriously regret. Talking less and listening more can truly save you a lot of trouble.

4. Be Honest. 
Being honest with yourself and others can really go a long way. Being honest with yourself creates a better understanding of yourself, in turn making you more comfortable with who you are and who you are not. I also wish I was more honest with myself when I knew It was time to walk away from something. It turned what would have been good experiences, into negative ones. I should have saved myself the time.
Being honest with others will save you a lot of trouble as well. There are so many times that I smiled and went along with things that I really didn't want to do. Consequently, it made me resentful towards other people when it really is not their fault, it's mine for not being honest to begin with. A lot of times I harbored negative feelings toward people when all I really needed to do was be honest and tell them what was up.

3. Don't be afraid.
I'm such a scardy cat sometimes. I mean, when it comes to reasonable things like riding roller coasters or walking down dark alleys at night, I consider fear to be a healthy emotion. When it comes to walking to the beach at night, taking challenging classes or simply just jumping in the water: fear is inhibiting. Conquering the fear and taking advantage of those moments that really count make for the best memories.

2.Don't always take the safest path.
Sometimes I sit and wonder how my life would have been had I not chosen the safe path. I realize that the dangerous path is what stretches you and grows you. It's what makes you flourish. For so long, I was comfortable with the ideal, safe path. Now I realize that things don't always have to go perfectly for them to actually work out. Life is too short to always take the safe road. Sometimes you have to drive through a storm or two. So, if you happen to be at the crossroads, take a (reasonable) risk.

1. Love every moment.
Life is an accumulation of moments. Some of these moments are great opportunities, some just suck and some are once in a lifetime. Either way, love the moment to the fullest because it probably won't come back around again. So whether your favorite song is on, you're laughing your behind off, crying your eyes out or just doing your homework (trust me, you will probably miss that someday too), live it up!

Romance and Similar Observations #3

   
   Okay, so I realize It was been awhile since I last posted. I just don't know what it is about summer time that drains all of my blogging inspiration. It's probably because I actually have a life during the summer and much less so during the following seasons. Not to worry though, I shall not abandon my blogging duties this fall! Usually around this time I would start off with a summary of my summer, however; this summer was so...eventful, that I am actually still processing it. Once I do though, I will decide whether or not I have gleaned anything worth sharing with the masses!

    Thinking back to almost 2 years ago when I first started my "Romance and Similar Observations" series, I realize how much I did not know about Romance...and similar observations. It was completely reasonable to be a little terrified apprehensive about exploring the subject in real life. Dating, in real life is far from the fairy tale, Taylor Swiftian, Nicholas Sparkley, "Boy Meets World" (or whatever other 90's family sitcom you want to compare it to....as long as it's NOT The Parkers).  It's not quite as simple as "Boy meets girl, boy likes girl, girl likes boy and then they live happily ever after". I might have skipped a few steps, but you get the general idea. No. In the real world there is a daunting entanglement of other options and ulterior motives and baggage and pride and people changing their minds. Like, what was I doing when dating got so complicated? Probably listening to Taylor Swift....like I'm doing now (Thanks for nothing ). It's not that I have gained a large amount of experience or anything, I'm just a quick learner.

    One thing I've noticed when it comes to dating in the normal world, is the initial fight for the notorious "Upper hand". What is the "Upper hand", you ask? It's basically a competition to see who cares less. It's as simple is waiting for the other person to text first, pretending to not care (or actually not caring ) about something/someone or in extreme cases attempting to make the other person jealous. The fight for the "Upper hand" can get pretty vicious and eventually leads to the end of a relationship.
     So, why do people fight for it? Sheer, unadulterated pride. Have you ever watched a "Pride Battle"? Oh its like the sickest, saddest thing that you just can't stop watching, but it  ultimately ends in a Double K.O. (Thank you Street Fighter). Why? Because if you really think about it, the opposite of love isn't necessarily hate; it's pride. Not pride in a "self-respect" sort of way, but pride in a "I love myself more than I love you" sort of way. You see, pride and love do not co-exist very well. When loving another person, there is a mutual dedication to sacrifice for the good of the other person or relationship as a whole. *Notice I said mutual.* I heard somewhere that a relationship is not just a place to "get" something from, it's also a place to give. It takes a lot of humility to be able to do that.  It won't always be 50/50. I realize that sometimes the "what about me?" question has to be pushed to the background for awhile. Sacrifice is more of a 60/40, 80/20 thing, however; there is no love without sacrifice.

     Anyways, now that I've scared all the boys away....
I have to admit that the struggle for the "Upper hand" exhausts me. It's not a game I want to play. Life is tough enough as is. All of us struggle to stay on top one way or another, whether its at work, at school, financially, mentally or physically. At some point you want to stop the struggle, let go and perhaps have someone there to catch you after an incredibly long day.
The battle for the "Upper hand" ends when either one person walks away or just stops fighting for it. Personally, I have no problem letting the other person have the "Upper hand".... as long as I can trust them with it. It's not because I'm weak, but because I realize how futile it is and am confident enough in the person I'm with not to abuse it. I also realize that there is risk involved in doing so.
     At the end of the day, it should not matter. It's only as important as you make it I guess.
Clearly there is always something more to learn. I don't claim to know all the right answers, but can only say what I've learned so far. Let me know if you have any sage advice or interesting stories. I always enjoy hearing from my readers!

Dear Beautiful People...

Dear Beautiful People,


      You annoy me SO much! No, it's not the fact that you're beautiful, it's that you know you're beautiful. Don't get me wrong, everyone deserves to feel beautiful, but you guys just take it to another level. You may have fooled other people, but don't think I don't notice your sly self absorption. I mean, what's with the whole "just doing [ insert random thing here ]" picture thing on facebook? If I see another girl with a cute picture on facebook that says "just going to work" or "just getting ready for school" or " getting ready for bed"....I might lose it! Seriously? Who needs to take pictures of themselves doing utterly mundane things like that? I'll tell you who, self-absorbed, beautiful people! Then, there goes the rest of the jolly little  facebook friends, liking your picture and commenting on how cute you look doing something of absolute zero importance! Don't even get me started on the whole "taking a picture of yourself with your cell phone camera in the mirror" thing! The mirror is there for a REASON, and that reason is so that the phone is NOT visible in the picture! If you haven't figured it out yet, this is targeted at women. If it were for men, It would be titled "Dear Ballers". *However, Men, if you ever hope to understand women...Continue reading*
     
       The worst part is that I'm surrounded by you people! You know, the, "I can't help it if I'm cute" and "I know he wanted me girrrrrrl" people! The one's who think EVERYONE is checking them out ALL the time.....and everyone usually is. Somehow the question of how cute you look is floating around in your mind at all times,  as if there weren't other important things going on...ever. But, Beautiful People, I get it. I'm not just some bitter, jealous girl on a long rant about how much I am annoyed by you. I'm just an insightful outsider trying to help you take a deeper look at the way you look at yourself.
      
      Here's the deal, I guess I can't blame you too much for your self absorption. I mean, why wouldn't you be? The world treats you differently just because of how you look. You know it, I know it, they know it, but would never admit it (usually). You get more smiles, more free stuff, more kind remarks, more attention, you marry richer, people listen to you and all you have to do is stay pretty. Obviously there is more to life than just getting high appraisal from the general public. I know life isn't perfect and everyone has different challenges to overcome. I'm just saying that one of those challenges won't be getting along with the general public...unless you're a jerk. But, even if you were a jerk, it wouldn't matter because you're beautiful.
       What most people don't realize, rather, don't care to realize, is that even though women have more rights, more intelligence (we've always been more intelligent, but that's besides the point) and are more successful than ever, part of our value is still assessed by the way we look. That's why all of our presidents are generally attractive (Neut never stood a chance), the most popular people are always beautiful and The Real Housewives of Atlanta have a show (c'mon...I know you were wondering too).  The world says "The better the looks, the more valuable the person". Most people would say that was an unfair statement.... And it is isn't it? However,  most people's actions would confirm that statement.
        
      So, with this issue of "beauty as an assessment of value", many women get caught up in thinking that the aforementioned statement is true. That's why so many women want to be told they're beautiful. It's because in doing so, you are validating her as a woman. That's also why if you tell a girl she's ugly, she feels devalued as a woman. If you think about it, this whole thing is doing some serious damage! Perhaps that is why what are socially considered "Beautiful" people feel the need to affirm their value and those who are "Less-attractive" also feel the need to do the same. Wait, what? they are both trying to do the same thing? Yes, It's twisted.
    
      My first thought was to blame our society for these misconceptions and demand that they STOP affirming the awful lie that the value of a person is in the way that they look. But, NO. It starts with us. We need to stop believing it. Like, seriously. Once we stop believing the lie, then we will no longer be under the control of that lie. My most current little slogan right now is, "If something masters the masses, then you must master that thing". If you give lies like that power, like everyone else does, then it controls you too, even if you know it's not right.
So, dear Beautiful People, you do indeed annoy me. Why? Because when you absorb yourself in your own value as an attractive person, you remind me that the lie still exists. I hope this post helps everyone take a deeper look in to what they're feeding in to. I personally had some own revelations even as I was writing this tonight. Until next time, don't let me catch you in a " just doing [ insert random thing here]" picture.... I might just lose my mind!
Sincerely,
A Penny for Your Thoughts

Indie Wicker Basket Lamp: First Craft Post FTW!!!

        

             

   

Delhi Delight Pizza

 

Big news Guys!
I've finally done it! I've created my own recipe!!! There's a certain level of awesomeness that suddenly defines you when you finally create your own recipe! I, dear readers, have finally achieved this culinary Nirvana. I've even given my new recipe a name, it is called,(obviously) The Delhi Delight Pizza...Otherwise known as Tikka Masala Pizza. Of course, there are other Tikka Masala Pizzas, but none are exactly like mine! This recipe is nutritious and certifiably delicious! I dare you to try this on your own!


The Delhi Delight
You will need:

Pita bread or Naan (Preferably wheat)
Tikka Masala Sauce
Feta Cheese
Shredded Parmesan Cheese
Mozzarella Cheese
Chicken or Tofu


Directions:

1. Lay Pita/Naan bread flat on a baking sheet. 
2. Spread Tikka Masala sauce on bread from the center outwards. Remember to leave the edges of the bread untouched in order to maintain a crispy crust. Sprinkle Feta Cheese on top of sauce. 
3. Next, sprinkle a thin layer of Parmesan cheese on the pizza. 
4. Place even amounts of chicken/tofu around the pizza. Sprinkle a little more Parmesan over the chicken. 
5. Cover the pizza with an ample amount Mozzarella cheese. 
6. Bake in the oven at 350 Degrees for 15 minutes or until crust is lightly browned. 
7. Enjoy! 

My Year of Break-Ups

     Yesterday I celebrated my 22nd birthday! I've noticed that birthdays always make you asses the etire last year of your life as much as possible! I can definitely say that my 21st year on earth was different from my other years. There were some successes, some failures, some awkward moments (of course) and some very honest moments. This year has changed me in so many ways, yet somehow kept me the same. When I think about the past year, I think the word, "break-ups". For me, this year has been a year of break-ups...No...Not with boys, but with everything I was used to.
     It all started with my break-up with my college of 2.5 years and is now ending with the break-up from my most jovial and consistent companion, my puppy.  Throughout this year, I have had break-ups with friends that I thought would be there forever, plans that I thought were fool-proof, dreams I held extremely close, things I thought I wanted and even with my own self. I wont lie, it has been tough. Really tough. But, at some point you realize that very few things are permanent. It helps you let things go and just live. Part of living life is letting go of the past and treating each day like a new beginning.
     Three years ago, I would have never thought that I would go from living at the beach, to living in the middle of nowhere, to living in an apartment in Athens, with a dog whose days are numbered... Much of my journey was very lonely. I have been in different towns, with different people and had different experiences. It's all made me a little bit tougher in ways I wouldn't have ever imagined.
     You see, part of going through a break-up is that it makes you stronger and able to move forward. At 22 I am not entirely the same person I was at 21 (naturally). So this year, I look forward to learning new things and becoming the person that fits best in my skin.

Why Nice Guys Get Put in "The Friend Zone"

"Nonthreatening Genitalia"

                                   Have you ever seen this before?

                                                          

     When I first saw this little "Nice Guy" advertisement I couldn't resist rolling my eyes. I thought, " Not ANOTHER guy complaining about being in the 'Friend Zone'"!  By way of another blog, I worked through this whole idea of the "Nice Guy" and why he just can't seem to ever finish first (poor thing). To keep it simple, this blog is to let you "Nice Guys" know what you're doing wrong...A little harsh, I know. But I appreciate you guys too much to let you finish last!

     If you're ever wanted to know why women like "Bad Boys", here it is: We actually don't. We like men who are brave enough not to muddle through life. We like me who are assertive and are not afraid to back down from a challenge. We like men who know what they want and aren't afraid to do what it takes to get it (within reason). It just so happens that "Bad Boys" are more comfortable being assertive and taking risks. That's not to say that that's what all women want, but I'll just let you do the math.

The quintessential "Nice guy" has been boiled down to three words:

-Passive

-Gentle-man

-Boring

By no means is this true, but with ideas like that floating around, no wonder nice guys finish last!

Here's the Problem: 

A "Nice Guy" is content to listen to a girl cry, vent and whine for hours...and hours...and hours. Spend way too much "quality time", wait on her hand and foot.... And then wonder why the girl doesn't see him as dating material. Do you see what's wrong with that picture? I have girlfriends for situations like those! If you can easily be replaced by a girl, don't wonder why you're in the friend zone...slap yourself!

      "Nice Guys" end up in the friend zone because they're too scared to to get out of the friend zone... Or they weren't assertive enough in the beginning to admit their intentions, hence the idea that "Nice Guys" are passive. The problem has nothing to do with the fact that you're shy (look guys, we know it's not easy). The problem is that you let something that you desperately wanted linger right before your eyes, within arms reach, and you didn't take a hold of it because you were too scared. Correct me if I'm wrong, but do "Bad Boys" have these problems? No. Because they see what they want, and they go for it (be it good or bad). So don't be upset if you're in the dreaded "Friend Zone", when you've conveniently positioned yourself there. And don't assume girls automatically know your intentions. 

    Don't go getting all bitter with women and turn into a player (we already know that's played out this year anyways) just because you never figured out how to grow a pair and approach the woman you actually want. 

     However, you should understand being a "Nice Guy" doesn't entitle you to women everywhere. Don't rank yourself in comparison to the lowest type of guys. Yeah, you're much better than Chris Brown, but that don't make you Tim Tebow or anything...

   Yes, rejection does happen. She just might not be interested and that's OK. I'm sure there are girls you're not interested in either. You just get back up and move forward. I know guy's ego's are fragile, but risk really can bring reward. 

In conclusion, "Nice Guys", you're fantastic! We really appreciate that there are men out there who still believe in respecting women and treating them right! So get out there and don't be afraid to ask for what you want! There are plenty of women who are waiting for a nice guy to sweep them off their feet. They want to start a fun and exciting journey with YOU...not a just "nice" journey. The friend zone is a completely appropriate zone....for friends. If you want more, don't waste your time and feelings. Be clear and seize the moments. Risk brings reward...most times....just don't be stupid. 

What's Played Out in 2012?

Alright, it's 3:30am and I'm on a caffeine high that began 5 hours ago! So what better thing to do than update my blog? I've been SO swamped lately that I've neglected my blogging!  With that being said, I've been mulling over this blog Idea for about a week now: What is played out in 2012? It is my duty to make sure that you, my fellow readers, don't go in to 2012 with the old played out things from 2011! So Here are a few things I came up with!


1. Being the "Best". 
Recently, there has been this obsession with being the best. Being "The Best" implies anything from having the nicest tennis shoes to having the nicest car. Or, my personal favorite, being the best rapper or athlete. Look, It's a recession. The great thing about a recession is that it makes everyone a little bit poorer, consequently making people just a tinge more equal. So here's the deal, everyone already knows that you're insecure and that you are overcompensating by having to be "The Best". So save us all the work and just be yourself. Being yourself is totally in this year!


2. Dumb Reality TV shows.
This might be wishful thinking, but I would hope that the world is in enough peril that Jersey Shore loses its influence on American television. Yes, the occasional drunk hook-up is bewildering and somehow addictive to watch,but hey! There are more important things going on nationally and internationally. Being an informed, productive human being is SO in this year!


3. Players. 
Yes, there was a time when being a player was "the thing". According to MTV and BET....it probably still is. Yes, when it comes to husbands and people who have children, being a player is abhorrent. But, apparently, when it comes to singles under the age of 30, it's cool? If I hear another song about someone leaving home with someone from the club I might die!!! All I hear is when I hear such things is, " Blah, Blah, Blah, I'm raising my chance of getting an STD". Everyone knows that being "a player" is brought on by insecurity and perhaps even a lack of a good male influence during childhood. Its sad, yes, but at this point you're not fooling anyone.Respecting yourself and others is in this year! 


4.  Suburban Thugs.
If you have decent parents, grew  up in a decent neighborhood, went to a decent school and got a decent education, why are you acting like you didn't? I really can't stand to see these little thug boys running around campus actin' a fool when they KNOW their major is Biology or Political science. If you're in college, you have no right to act like you are  not receiving a college education! It just burns my biscuits! Being intelligent is definitely in this year! 


5. Twitter.
As much as I enjoy reading your every thought, I don't know if I can take it anymore! Occasional updates are great. I enjoy a little laugh here and there. But, instead of incessantly posting your thoughts online for the whole world to see, why don't you make some new friends and share your occasional musings with them? Making new friends is totally in this year!


6. Rubber Bracelets.
I LOVE that they stand for a cause...But it's time to get real accessories. Maybe you can think of some other crafty use for all those colorful bracelets? Recycling played out stuff from 2011 is SO in this year!


7. Declaring the End of the World.
Resist the urge to carry this trend on in to 2012. I know, I know, " But it's 2012"!!! I feel like people have been saying the world was going to end for the past 30 years. Enough! Just let it happen. If it's our time to go it's our time to go. Peace of mind is in this year. 


8. Being in Love with Teenage Pop Sensations.
C'mon people! Unless you're under the age of 18, this is not acceptable. Like many others, I fell into the trap of Taylor Lautner's glistening abs.....but that's all over now...I think. Being a grown-up is definitely in this year!


9. Weird Lady Gaga Fashion.
Embracing individuality is great! However, wearing ridiculous clothes, tragically miss-matched colors and acting like a zombie may not be the best way to go about it. Sure, everyone gets creative reign over their fashion and appearance, but this is just extreme. So extreme that by following along you're not even affirming your individuality, but actually being the manifestation of  the standard that the entertainment industry sets for us... and that's not cool. Not letting others define you is totally in this year!


10. Metro Sexual Guys.
I missed the part where we need MORE effeminate men? Especially not if I'm still single! I know that most would like to believe that our culture has overcome our belief in gender schemas...but we haven't. We need these men to get out of the nail salon and back in to being strong leaders....or to at least admit they're gay. Either way, metro sexual guys deny me the clarity that I so desperately need. Real men are definitely in this year!

Romance and Similar Observations #2

 

          



         Oh romance, love, affection, mushy, gushy-ness...How you make me BARF! Lol, Just kidding! Ya'll know that if that were true I wouldn't be writing this blog. I have no interest in false emotions or virtual defense mechanisms! That stuff's for the birds. I'm just here to vent about my own personal situation. Let me start by saying, I'm not sad about being single! I would never trade in my time being single, it has been some of the most rich and fulfilling years...and years...and years of my life. Don't worry guys, I'm only 21 so the situation is only at caution level yellow. Actually...I'm almost 22, but no worries, still yellow....maybe its just because I like the color yellow.
        I've managed to almost go through my  entire college years, single. Since college is rumored to be a time for dating and relationships, I assumed that I would have a boyfriend after the 1st semester of college- Boy was I wrong!
    So, as a lonely college student with few friends and a limited social life, I did what any savvy, clueless, college student would do...I started an online dating account (you have no idea how much it shames me to admit this publicly. Shame upon me and my family). Anyways,as I read through many emails from men who had obviously not read my profile and ONLY looked at my picture, I came to two conclusions. #1. Most of the men on this site are probably psychologically unstable. (as a rule, I usually assume that everyone has at least 1 psychological disorder) and #2. Most people are shallow and they really only care about themselves. This may sound bitter, but I assure you, there is truth in that. Sure, I talked to a few guys, one stopped talking to me because I told him I made a turkey sandwich for dinner. My profile picture is of me cooking so I guess he assumed that I made gourmet dinners every night. To that I must say, "WTF?". Another guy I talked to ended up being, like, clinically depressed. He had a great personality, but crazy just can't hide itself. I'm talking to a British guy now...I'm sure it won't go anywhere. I know, "give it a chance" blah, blah, blah! There's no substitute for intuition guys. Lastly, I recently began talking to this great Christian guy who can draw, sing and dance! He's really nice, but you know what, It probably won't work out either, because good things just don't happen to me, romance-wise.  It's just what it is. I know, you're like "No Tanisha! Have hope!" To that I'd say, " Go ahead and put money on it! (No seriously, I NEED gas money!)"
      Ever since I can remember, guys have treated me like crap. Okay, maybe not like crap, but close to it. You know those girls that a guy goes out of their way to sweep off their feet? I'm not that girl. The most I can get is a half-assed (excuse the language, but there's no way to half-ass the word" half-ass")  attempt to be interested. I can be liked, appreciated, but never truly treasured. I once heard a quote that said, "To be known is to be loved and to be loved is to be known". I, want to be known. I'm talking about fully known by another person, like, past, present, future, uncensored, unashamed, fully and organically known. I want to never have to wonder if you think I'm awkward, weird, beautiful, incomparable or lovely. I don't want to even have to guess. I want my life to fall in to rhythm with your life as if we were never off beat! Lets get this straight, I don't expect any man to be perfect, flawless or even close to the infallible love that's in the Lord. I don't even want him to be! I'm so tired of hearing, " Be a better person! Be a better person and when you're good enough, love will be given to you!" Whether or not it's true, the frustration of not being able to share myself completely with another person persist.
In the meantime, I think I'll quit the online dating...maybe, and sink into the other issues I have in front of me. I will however, let you know how it goes with the British and Christian guy ;). Thanks for reading! I'll update you soon!
 For Now, Enjoy This:

Long Time No See....

Anyways, though lengthy, this is where I am at this point. I will not abandon you again my few, but dear readers! Thanks for reading!

      Alright, I'll admit it. I've abandoned my blogging for too long! It's not like I have a good excuse either, I have plenty of time! I guess you could say I've been uninspired to write lately....I'm not sure if it's a good thing or not. 
So, this blog is to catch you lovely readers up on life as of late.  Lets see...where did we leave off? Oh. I remember!
      I had just announced to you that I was leaving the gloomy doldrum that was the Georgia Southern. I couldn't have been happier! Fast forward to summer 2011. This summer can be summed up in three words:   "guy-friends", "exercise" and "Hispanics". Let me explain. I feel like I spent my entire summer with my guy-friend...lets call him...Giovanni. If you've ever had a close guy-friend, you know that it can get frustrating to spend a lot of time with them. By the end of the summer I wanted to hug him and wring his neck at the same time! Well, Giovanni is obsessed with fitness, like, so obsessed, he could probably be on the show "My weird addiction" or perhaps more appropriately, "True Life: I'm addicted to working out". Anyways, we scored some gym memberships and worked out everyday. I'm sad to say that I didn't lose a significant amount of weight because I think the universe wants me to be a chubbster forever. The bad part about being a chubbster is that everybody thinks they have a right to an opinion to your body. The "If I were skinnier..." always creeps up in your mind all the time, not because I'm self-conscious, but because its true. Its gets to be so frustrating that I'm like, "If one more person pokes my effing pooch, I'm gonna go ham on their face!" I'm not the freakin' Pilsbury dough girl! ...(woo-sah). Anyways, after exercizing for a month and losing only 5 lbs, our limited gym membership expired. While Giovanni and the Gym (which, by the way, is a good title for a documentary  that tracks his addiction) were happening, I found myself spending a lot of time with Giovanni's family, otherwise known as "My hispanic family". I've known them since I was in 9th grade! Every Tuesday we would go to the Latin American Association to practice Spanish and help those who were learning English. That was pretty fun actually, we met a lot of great people that we got to see week after week! 

This is the building most of my classes are in!

By the end of the summer my sister had moved back to Atlanta and I was signing a lease to live in an apartment with 3 other strangers! 
      UGA is a wonderful school! My classes are the most challenging that I've ever taken and guess what...I'm only failing one! :D.  Starting at this school was difficult, of course. I had to learn an entire bus system to find my classes. Did I mention my classes were hard? I didn't know anyone and...Did I mention my classes were hard? I came home every night to an empty room and a seemingly inactive online social life (thanks for nothing facebook!). So, I know what you're thinking, "Just get a boyfriend you dummy!". Nope. Because of course, UGA girls got it goin' on! I bet when the guys get on this campus, they don't even know what to do! I've always prided myself on my simple, relaxed, Martha Stewarty look, but that doesn't cut it here! So no boyfriend! So what was the next option? A PUPPY! Yes, I got a puppy 2 months after I got here! Her name is Missy. She is expensive, messy, hyper active and the sweetest thing you ever did see! I'm up to my elbows in puppy pee almost every day and her poop makes me want to vomit. However, the best part of my day is when she snuggles next to me at night! 
      Slowly but surely, I've gained friends and found things to get involved with! It turns out my roommate situation turned out marvelously. They are the best I could have gotten under the situation! I can't even believe that the semester is finally over. Sometimes I forget that this is my first semester here actually! At times I miss PBA. Life was easier, the experiences were priceless and the memories I made there were unforgettable, but I don't regret leaving. Being back in Atlanta has taught me to appreciate family and cherish friends that have been there no matter where I am! 

The Wisdom from My Wisdoms

"A woman of true beauty offers others the grace to be and the room to become" 

    


          It has been a long time since I last updated my blog. To tell the truth, I just haven't had much inspiration. My thoughts have been filled with my most recent endeavours: Exercising/losing weight, cleaning and of course, getting my wisdom teeth removed!
    I wasn't expecting the removal of my wisdom teeth (from now on they will be referred to as "My Wisdoms") to be a remarkable occasion. If anything, it would be full of pain and lament for the loss of my sweet, precious, Wisdoms.  However,  it ended up being just the occasion that I needed. 
     I was all flutters and jitters as I walked through the door of the dentist office. I mean, what did they expect, really? They just gave me a 1 inch thick packet describing all of the horrifying things that could happen to me as a result of the surgery! Excuse me, but,  the possibility of accidental death or permanent nerve damage was on the table here! 
    But, as I was escorted to the operation chair, a small light at the end of the tunnel appeared in the form of a sweet, sweet, Latina lady named Rosaria. Now, when I say this lady was SWEET, I mean she was sweeter than caramel apple pie with ice cream...and whipped cream...and a sugar coated crust! From the moment she walked in the room, she was reassuring, comforting and caring! She even pet my nappy hair, which was a feat that I wasn't even willing to do that morning (seriously, I woke up and stuck 2 bobby pins in it...no...I didn't care)! She even spoke to me in Spanish once she found out what my major was! I learned the word "jugoza" which means juicy....she thought my veins were juicy =D. She was just an all around, kind, inviting spirit! I was instantly reassured and utterly impressed!
    I read a quote recently that said, 
"A woman of true beauty offers others the grace to be and the room to become" 
    Rosaria reminded of this quote and how much going out of your way to love those around you really means! 
     Recently I've found myself distanced from those around me. Whether it be in the form of not making as much effort to spend quality time, not using kind words, being impatient or  extremely passive aggressive.  Somewhere, I forgot how hard life can be and how important it is to let my life be a place where people can feel free to grow and be themselves. The world is tough enough, it shouldn't be reflected in me as well. I'm so thankful to the people like Rosaria, who stand as an example and remind me of what's important in life. Sometimes a little refocusing is all you really need! And that, ladies and gentlemen, is "The Wisdom from My Wisdoms"

"I Can't Believe in a God Who..."

                            

     

     

    I'm sure you've heard the sentence," I can't believe in a God who would send people to Hell who haven't ever heard of Him". I've thought about that sentence long and hard, plenty of times. In fact, I made my roommate ask me this question while I was getting my tattoo ( philosophical questions distract me from pain ). 

   I was at church Wednesday night sitting with my friends. I had thought the message    was going to be about prayer, but, by the time I realized it was about evangelism it was too late to run out! 

Prayer- O.K
Reading the Bible- O.K
Spreading the "Good News"- Uhhh...I'll just slip out the back...
      When It comes down to it, I just suck at evangelism! It's not really that I suck, I just care too much about what people think (Hey, I said this was honesty year). Fear literally overwhelms me. Instead of the powerful news of the Gospel coming out, a weak, apologetic, ho-hum, mumble of a suggestion seeps through.
 Sad. I know. 
Back to the story.
     So, while I'm sitting in church service the pastor addresses the lingering question " How can we believe in a God that sends people to Hell who have never heard His name?" 
Well, let me rephrase it to give you a clearer perspective on this question. It should sound like this :
 "I can't believe that the church would let people who have never heard Jesus' name, go to Hell without ever hearing the Gospel."
      That should punch you right in the guts. I know it punches me in the guts! Why don't we let it for a second if that's what we need.  Wow. 
    No one likes to talk about Hell. No one wants to believe that people will actually go there one day. But, the fact is that no one is blameless. Even the nicest of people have hurt others and themselves. Its our nature. 
If I am to call myself a Christian, then I cannot ignore that there is a real Heaven and a real Hell. Therefore, I don't get off on shrugging off the Gospel. I don't get to say "that's not my job"...because it is.
     As you can imagine, I needed a confidence booster after that service. So I dusted off my Bible  (it didn't have dust, but lets just say I haven't opened it enough lately) and turned to Ezekiel 33. I turned there because there is a story that relates directly to the message.Most of the chapter can be boiled down to this verse:

"If the watchman sees the sword coming and does not blow the trumpet to warn the people and the sword comes and takes someone’s life, that person’s life will be taken because of their sin, but I will hold the watchman accountable for their blood."

      What a sad day it will be when we see people that we know going to Hell and we could have saved them by just opening our mouths?  The Gospel requires word and deed. Our words are what separate humanitarians and Christians. I do not want to be accountable for not sounding the trumpet just because I cared too much about what people thought. 
Ezekiel 34 even goes further in saying,
" My sheep were scattered over the whole earth and no one searched or looked for them.... because my shepherds cared for themselves rather than my flock" 
OUCH! That was a pimp slap in the face! 
If God is serious about the lost, then so should I be. The urgency is greater now than ever. I need to get a fire under my tail like, 5 minutes ago! I hope this post ,if anything, is sobering. Pray for courage. I guess I can't chicken out now that I posted this blog! 
(sorry for the rough ending...)

The Best Whoopin' Story Never Told Part II: The Whoopin'

            

       It was a typical evening in the Hollis household. My mom and dad were watching TV in the living room, and my brother and I were playing games. If you have a brother or sister around your age, you probably know that playing and fighting are kind of mixed in to the same activity. That night, my brother and I were fighting more than usual. We were 8 and 9 years old, so you can imagine how annoying it must have been for my parents. 
Unbeknown to us, while all of our fighting and tattling was going on, my father had had enough! He issued the ultimatum.  He said " If I hear you guys yelling again, I'm whoopin' you both!". 


          My brother and I took this warning to heart. In fact, we let it settle there and make a nice home. Daddy's whoopin's were borderline child abuse. My dad is a short stocky man with arms the size of Popeye's (No, it's not because he likes spinach). Once that belt got to swingin', it wasn't stoppin'. Needless to say, an encounter with the belt was undesirable. 
     We continued playing quietly, until brother had to go and do something (I can't even remember what) that made me mad! I let out a drawn out "Mooooooooommy!" and It was too late to put the words back in my mouth. The words were spilled out on the floor like a glass of water running too fast to sop back up. My daddy got up and asked " Alright, who's first?". Now you already know, it WASN'T me. What do I look like volunteering myself to get the first whoopin'? I wasn't going down like that! I was waaaaay too clever. So I sent my brother to the slaughter. It was wrong, I know, but up until that point I had never been whooped by my dad. 
I listened to my brother through the door. For some reason it used to be HILARIOUS to hear my brother get a whoopin'! I never knew what went on in there, but it sounded like my dad was whoopin' Spider Man or somethin'! I'm even laughing now. 
      
          Anyways, after he was finished with my brother, my number was up. My heart sank. I was crying before the belt even touched me! I was a softy. The door closed behind me. I was so scared! I begged him not to whoop me! He showed no mercy. He raised up the belt strap to swing and as it came down,something magical happened! I caught the belt strap with my very hands! Yes, with my hands. This was my last hope. There was no going back. 
     My dad yanked the belt from me. I kept holding on. He yanked again, harder this time. I did not surrender that belt. By then he had enough. He pulled the belt strap so hard that I thought I would release it, but I did not. He was obviously stronger than me, so as he was pulling the belt, he was pulling me along with it. All of a sudden, he began pulling up! I found myself lifted off the floor while still clinging on to the belt strap. Yes, I was hanging in the air, holding to my father's belt strap, which was being held by my father....with one hand.... 
       
        Then, to my surprise, he chuckled. It was the miracle I had been waiting for. He put me back on the ground and struck a bargain with me. He said "If you walk out of here, get in the tub and go straight to bed, then I won't whoop you.".....And that's exactly what I did. Even as a young sprout I could recognize a deal too great to walk away from. 
To this day, I pride myself on the fact that I never got whooped with that belt strap. Not once. And for that reason, this is the greatest whoopin' story never told. 

The Best Whoopin' Story Never Told: Part I (Whoopins 101)

                       

          The other day I was having a conversation with my older brother about a time when we both got whoopins. Now, I believe that everyone should have a good whoopin' story, especially if you're black! Call it child abuse if you want to, but a parent should never hesitate to "spare the rod". I'll start this one off with some foundations in whoopin' etiquette. Let's call it "Whoopins 101".

1. There are a few differences between a "spanking" and a "whoopin'". A whoopin' evokes large rain drop sized tears along with deep feelings of guilt and physical pain. A spanking may produce some crocodile tears with thoughts like, "That was it?" or "Whew! Glad that's over...Quick! Remember to look sad...." A spanking is what most clever kids aim for.


2. You know you're getting a whoopin' when the parent is yelling with you. It may sound sort of like a, "Didn't. I. Tell. You. Not. To. Do (insert punishable action here) "


3. A Spanking is done with a small to average sized leather/pleather belt or a hand. A whoopin' is conducted with either a LARGE mens leather belt strap, a switch or anything within arms length of your parent. 


As a child I got plenty of spankings, but I was so terrified of that belt strap that I made sure we would never encounter each other! I am sad to say that we did encounter each other, two times actually. This brings me to the start of:
The Best Whoopin' Story Never Told.....

...So the World Didn't End.

                                           

      As I slipped on my jeans and shoes last Saturday morning, I realized that for many people, today was the end of the world. I'm sure you know by now that an 89 year-old man by the name of Herbert Camping predicted that the world would end on May 21, 2011. First of all.... He couldn't have given everyone an earlier notice? I mean, a one month notice isn't much time at all. In fact, it's just rude. I feel a little bad for the man though. As an (almost) ninety year-old man, all his dignity was lost because of a wrong prediction. He was wrong, yes, but it makes it a little sadder because he seemed sincere. Granted, he did make Christians look even crazier than everyone already thinks we are. Though the media does a darn good job too (our last chance was with Touched by an Angel, but then it got cancelled... After that there was no hope.).  Personally, I am convinced that we are indeed living in the  End Times; however, I was pretty sure it wouldn't be last Saturday. 

          Although I was mostly sure that the world wouldn't end last Saturday, It got me thinking: At some point it will. We all have to face what is on the other side of life, whether it be by the world ending or by death. Every one of us will have to account for our lives. 

      Honestly, if the world ended on last Saturday, I would have regretted not doing more with my life. There aren't any excuses I can use, though I am sure I could give you 20 right off the top of my head. The fact is that there is so much more that I aspire to spiritually and personally. Mr. Camping's "Dooms Day Prediction" (I refuse to call it a prophecy) at best, served as a reminder that everyone will have to account for their lives one day. What will we do to change the things that we fear judgement of ? 

                                                                              

                                                                                 Let's start now.