The Haircut

      I can't keep it a secret any longer! This week, I had to go through one of the most depressing and heartbreaking experiences that ,hopefully, I'll ever have to go through. I...had to get my hair cut off. This may be an exaggeration, but it's exactly how I felt. 
    Now usually, people get their hair cut because they want a fresh new style or because they're donating it. They get their hair cut for probably any other reason other than my own . However,  I had to get my hair cut because it died....yes....it died. Cause of death: The Perm (curse you!).  I spent so many months trying to revive it only to surrender it to the hands of my ghetto hair stylist.
      It was a cold, dark day. I felt  that the weather was also mourning the loss of my hair.
 As I was sitting in the chair, the ghetto hair stylist took the clippers to the back of my head and shaved it all off.  There was a sinking feeling in the bottom of my stomach....it was gone, yes, all of it (well at least the back). 
      I keep getting reassuring comments from my family and friends, but they don't understand...It's not the hair that was lost- it was the battle. The battle for new growth.     
Anyways, I'm still trying to cope. Here's what it looks like.

....At least I can put all the headbands I make to good use.

Just Friends?

    Today I was having a chat with one of my girlfriends. We have often had a particular conversation about this guy who had taken interest in her. Whenever my girlfriends come to me about guys, I take the opportunity to analyze the situation. I listen objectively to see whether or not the guy is actually interested or if signs are being misread.
     Since being at PBA for so long, I have become VERY aware of this whole "just friends" issue. The word "D.T.R" (Defining The Relationship) makes me shudder. It used to be a weekly occurrence that someone would come to me about a friendship that was misinterpreted. It happened all the time! I even noticed whenever I would spend time with a guy, they were constantly suspicious as to whether I thought more of our friendship than there actually was. I think what makes the situation worse is both party's inability to actually speak on the issue. Instead, I would just get awkward looks across the table or intentional separation (probably what I found most annoying). It was like guys just couldn't man up and say something! I once met a guy that would purposely forget a girl's name once he met her, just so that they would know that he had boundaries. I'm sorry, but that's a little degrading. Although I do understand his intent. 
    I have also been on the other side of this situation. I have misinterpreted friendships. I have read more in to it than there actually was. It makes you feel like such a loser and causes you to question your judgement. 
Back to the friend.
    So after analyzing the signs that this guy was giving, I determined that this guy was indeed interested her...better yet, flirting with her. She had not done anything to sway his feelings or encourage his actions. Yet he persisted in doing things like getting very close to her, wanting to spend time alone, getting jealous of her with other guys, telling her how cute she looks, treating her different from other girls etc... Dude was down for the count!...Or so it seemed.
   Today she tells me that they had the dreaded D.T.R! During this D.T.R, the guy claims, to his utter horror and bewilderment, that he has NO idea that she liked him. He actually thought that they were just friends and nothing more. First, the guy is not gay. Second, what??? Come on! 
That's it! I've had it with guys pulling this one! 
Don't get me wrong, I can see how it's the girl's fault for reading too much in to it. However, I wave a HUGE pass in this situation because dude was NOT clear at all. All I'm saying is: Be up front. A little honest communication could have made the situation sting a lot less! I think Guys should definitely take the lead on being open and honest. Be aware of how your actions can be interpreted and don't just flirt just because it's something to do. Think about the fact that your intentions may not always be as clear to someone else as they are to you. D.T.R's can be a lot less painful if only people weren't to afraid of a little honesty. Sooner better than later. In not doing so, you risk the relationship all together.

Attempt at Sanity= Fail

   
      This blog was supposed to keep me sane, yet, I find myself on the verge of insanity once again!
This week, I have had an immense amount of free time on my hands. When I say immense, I mean everyday  from 2pm to bedtime I have had absolutely nothing to do. Well...I'll be honest. I have things to do, but they're mostly mundane and tragically productive, ex: cleaning my room and finishing my art projects. Actually, those are the only things I have to do at this point. Unless, I were to create painfully boring tasks for myself, like studying for a test a month in advance or starting a project that is due in May. See what I mean? 
     The problems started when my phone was cut off by Metro PCS once again. At first I thought, "It doesn't matter, I don't need it". Boy was I wrong! I really took my limited social contact for granted. I see that now. This unfortunate event has caused me to become entangled in to Facebook's evil, luring web.
    This week has found me glued to the computer! I even tried getting addicted to this Canadian TV drama (sad, I know). However, It made me realize that Canadians aren't just a happier version of Americans...They are Americans. They just say "sorry" differently. Why couldn't a more foreign country have established themselves next to us? I mean, there's Mexico already, why couldn't Brazil or Turkey have been our neighbors? Look people, I love a Canadian as much as the next person, but what I really appreciate is a good foreign culture! 
    Anyways, off my soapbox. I could probably write a long list of reason why my life sucks right now- starting with the unfortunate cellphone situation. But, why complain? It doesn't fix much.  At night, before I go to sleep, I find myself planning ways to get out of this town! I plot it out before remembering that I have no gas, no money and no one to go with (which increases my chances of getting kidnapped...yes...I think about these things). But then I realize, no matter where I go, I am always planning ways to get to the next place. Although, I'll admit, this town is about as dead as it can get.
    The thing is, everyone I thought would be there for me during this transition, is not . And for the first time in perhaps my entire life, I find it hard to have a social life (especially now that my cell phone stole what was left). Not to sound entitled, but most of my life I have been the one reaching out and maintaining friendships. Yet, when I need it the most, I have like 4 friends that actually know how I'm doing on a regular basis.I mean, I get that "You're busy" but c'mon, how long does it really take to send a text or write "How's it goin'" on somebody's Facebook wall? (I spend every waking hour on there anyways...you know where to find me) Don't get me wrong, I'm not "Super Friend". I haven't maintained some friendships in the way that I ought to. But wow, since I've transferred and haven't heard from many of my friends who were so "sad" I was leaving. Perhaps the dumbest thing is that I stayed an extra semester because I thought I would miss people too much! Too bad the Georgia university systems don't really accommodate for unnecessary semesters out of state. Not saying that it was any one's fault but my own. I have just had too much time to see it all too clearly. 
    Off my soapbox again. I'll just outwardly say that I'm dissatisfied with my life at this point. I need a break. Sadly, I don't get one for another month approximately....then I have to work so not really. I'm sorry, but all my optimism has gone down the drain! And if you really know me, you know how little that was. 
Everything in me is telling me to end this post on a happy note, but I wont. People tend to overreact when they realize that I'm not all sunshine! Big Whoop! I'm a real person. Cynicism intended.