Romance and Similar Observations #3

   
   Okay, so I realize It was been awhile since I last posted. I just don't know what it is about summer time that drains all of my blogging inspiration. It's probably because I actually have a life during the summer and much less so during the following seasons. Not to worry though, I shall not abandon my blogging duties this fall! Usually around this time I would start off with a summary of my summer, however; this summer was so...eventful, that I am actually still processing it. Once I do though, I will decide whether or not I have gleaned anything worth sharing with the masses!

    Thinking back to almost 2 years ago when I first started my "Romance and Similar Observations" series, I realize how much I did not know about Romance...and similar observations. It was completely reasonable to be a little terrified apprehensive about exploring the subject in real life. Dating, in real life is far from the fairy tale, Taylor Swiftian, Nicholas Sparkley, "Boy Meets World" (or whatever other 90's family sitcom you want to compare it to....as long as it's NOT The Parkers).  It's not quite as simple as "Boy meets girl, boy likes girl, girl likes boy and then they live happily ever after". I might have skipped a few steps, but you get the general idea. No. In the real world there is a daunting entanglement of other options and ulterior motives and baggage and pride and people changing their minds. Like, what was I doing when dating got so complicated? Probably listening to Taylor Swift....like I'm doing now (Thanks for nothing ). It's not that I have gained a large amount of experience or anything, I'm just a quick learner.

    One thing I've noticed when it comes to dating in the normal world, is the initial fight for the notorious "Upper hand". What is the "Upper hand", you ask? It's basically a competition to see who cares less. It's as simple is waiting for the other person to text first, pretending to not care (or actually not caring ) about something/someone or in extreme cases attempting to make the other person jealous. The fight for the "Upper hand" can get pretty vicious and eventually leads to the end of a relationship.
     So, why do people fight for it? Sheer, unadulterated pride. Have you ever watched a "Pride Battle"? Oh its like the sickest, saddest thing that you just can't stop watching, but it  ultimately ends in a Double K.O. (Thank you Street Fighter). Why? Because if you really think about it, the opposite of love isn't necessarily hate; it's pride. Not pride in a "self-respect" sort of way, but pride in a "I love myself more than I love you" sort of way. You see, pride and love do not co-exist very well. When loving another person, there is a mutual dedication to sacrifice for the good of the other person or relationship as a whole. *Notice I said mutual.* I heard somewhere that a relationship is not just a place to "get" something from, it's also a place to give. It takes a lot of humility to be able to do that.  It won't always be 50/50. I realize that sometimes the "what about me?" question has to be pushed to the background for awhile. Sacrifice is more of a 60/40, 80/20 thing, however; there is no love without sacrifice.

     Anyways, now that I've scared all the boys away....
I have to admit that the struggle for the "Upper hand" exhausts me. It's not a game I want to play. Life is tough enough as is. All of us struggle to stay on top one way or another, whether its at work, at school, financially, mentally or physically. At some point you want to stop the struggle, let go and perhaps have someone there to catch you after an incredibly long day.
The battle for the "Upper hand" ends when either one person walks away or just stops fighting for it. Personally, I have no problem letting the other person have the "Upper hand".... as long as I can trust them with it. It's not because I'm weak, but because I realize how futile it is and am confident enough in the person I'm with not to abuse it. I also realize that there is risk involved in doing so.
     At the end of the day, it should not matter. It's only as important as you make it I guess.
Clearly there is always something more to learn. I don't claim to know all the right answers, but can only say what I've learned so far. Let me know if you have any sage advice or interesting stories. I always enjoy hearing from my readers!

Dear Beautiful People...

Dear Beautiful People,


      You annoy me SO much! No, it's not the fact that you're beautiful, it's that you know you're beautiful. Don't get me wrong, everyone deserves to feel beautiful, but you guys just take it to another level. You may have fooled other people, but don't think I don't notice your sly self absorption. I mean, what's with the whole "just doing [ insert random thing here ]" picture thing on facebook? If I see another girl with a cute picture on facebook that says "just going to work" or "just getting ready for school" or " getting ready for bed"....I might lose it! Seriously? Who needs to take pictures of themselves doing utterly mundane things like that? I'll tell you who, self-absorbed, beautiful people! Then, there goes the rest of the jolly little  facebook friends, liking your picture and commenting on how cute you look doing something of absolute zero importance! Don't even get me started on the whole "taking a picture of yourself with your cell phone camera in the mirror" thing! The mirror is there for a REASON, and that reason is so that the phone is NOT visible in the picture! If you haven't figured it out yet, this is targeted at women. If it were for men, It would be titled "Dear Ballers". *However, Men, if you ever hope to understand women...Continue reading*
     
       The worst part is that I'm surrounded by you people! You know, the, "I can't help it if I'm cute" and "I know he wanted me girrrrrrl" people! The one's who think EVERYONE is checking them out ALL the time.....and everyone usually is. Somehow the question of how cute you look is floating around in your mind at all times,  as if there weren't other important things going on...ever. But, Beautiful People, I get it. I'm not just some bitter, jealous girl on a long rant about how much I am annoyed by you. I'm just an insightful outsider trying to help you take a deeper look at the way you look at yourself.
      
      Here's the deal, I guess I can't blame you too much for your self absorption. I mean, why wouldn't you be? The world treats you differently just because of how you look. You know it, I know it, they know it, but would never admit it (usually). You get more smiles, more free stuff, more kind remarks, more attention, you marry richer, people listen to you and all you have to do is stay pretty. Obviously there is more to life than just getting high appraisal from the general public. I know life isn't perfect and everyone has different challenges to overcome. I'm just saying that one of those challenges won't be getting along with the general public...unless you're a jerk. But, even if you were a jerk, it wouldn't matter because you're beautiful.
       What most people don't realize, rather, don't care to realize, is that even though women have more rights, more intelligence (we've always been more intelligent, but that's besides the point) and are more successful than ever, part of our value is still assessed by the way we look. That's why all of our presidents are generally attractive (Neut never stood a chance), the most popular people are always beautiful and The Real Housewives of Atlanta have a show (c'mon...I know you were wondering too).  The world says "The better the looks, the more valuable the person". Most people would say that was an unfair statement.... And it is isn't it? However,  most people's actions would confirm that statement.
        
      So, with this issue of "beauty as an assessment of value", many women get caught up in thinking that the aforementioned statement is true. That's why so many women want to be told they're beautiful. It's because in doing so, you are validating her as a woman. That's also why if you tell a girl she's ugly, she feels devalued as a woman. If you think about it, this whole thing is doing some serious damage! Perhaps that is why what are socially considered "Beautiful" people feel the need to affirm their value and those who are "Less-attractive" also feel the need to do the same. Wait, what? they are both trying to do the same thing? Yes, It's twisted.
    
      My first thought was to blame our society for these misconceptions and demand that they STOP affirming the awful lie that the value of a person is in the way that they look. But, NO. It starts with us. We need to stop believing it. Like, seriously. Once we stop believing the lie, then we will no longer be under the control of that lie. My most current little slogan right now is, "If something masters the masses, then you must master that thing". If you give lies like that power, like everyone else does, then it controls you too, even if you know it's not right.
So, dear Beautiful People, you do indeed annoy me. Why? Because when you absorb yourself in your own value as an attractive person, you remind me that the lie still exists. I hope this post helps everyone take a deeper look in to what they're feeding in to. I personally had some own revelations even as I was writing this tonight. Until next time, don't let me catch you in a " just doing [ insert random thing here]" picture.... I might just lose my mind!
Sincerely,
A Penny for Your Thoughts

Indie Wicker Basket Lamp: First Craft Post FTW!!!

        

             

   

Delhi Delight Pizza

 

Big news Guys!
I've finally done it! I've created my own recipe!!! There's a certain level of awesomeness that suddenly defines you when you finally create your own recipe! I, dear readers, have finally achieved this culinary Nirvana. I've even given my new recipe a name, it is called,(obviously) The Delhi Delight Pizza...Otherwise known as Tikka Masala Pizza. Of course, there are other Tikka Masala Pizzas, but none are exactly like mine! This recipe is nutritious and certifiably delicious! I dare you to try this on your own!


The Delhi Delight
You will need:

Pita bread or Naan (Preferably wheat)
Tikka Masala Sauce
Feta Cheese
Shredded Parmesan Cheese
Mozzarella Cheese
Chicken or Tofu


Directions:

1. Lay Pita/Naan bread flat on a baking sheet. 
2. Spread Tikka Masala sauce on bread from the center outwards. Remember to leave the edges of the bread untouched in order to maintain a crispy crust. Sprinkle Feta Cheese on top of sauce. 
3. Next, sprinkle a thin layer of Parmesan cheese on the pizza. 
4. Place even amounts of chicken/tofu around the pizza. Sprinkle a little more Parmesan over the chicken. 
5. Cover the pizza with an ample amount Mozzarella cheese. 
6. Bake in the oven at 350 Degrees for 15 minutes or until crust is lightly browned. 
7. Enjoy! 

My Year of Break-Ups

     Yesterday I celebrated my 22nd birthday! I've noticed that birthdays always make you asses the etire last year of your life as much as possible! I can definitely say that my 21st year on earth was different from my other years. There were some successes, some failures, some awkward moments (of course) and some very honest moments. This year has changed me in so many ways, yet somehow kept me the same. When I think about the past year, I think the word, "break-ups". For me, this year has been a year of break-ups...No...Not with boys, but with everything I was used to.
     It all started with my break-up with my college of 2.5 years and is now ending with the break-up from my most jovial and consistent companion, my puppy.  Throughout this year, I have had break-ups with friends that I thought would be there forever, plans that I thought were fool-proof, dreams I held extremely close, things I thought I wanted and even with my own self. I wont lie, it has been tough. Really tough. But, at some point you realize that very few things are permanent. It helps you let things go and just live. Part of living life is letting go of the past and treating each day like a new beginning.
     Three years ago, I would have never thought that I would go from living at the beach, to living in the middle of nowhere, to living in an apartment in Athens, with a dog whose days are numbered... Much of my journey was very lonely. I have been in different towns, with different people and had different experiences. It's all made me a little bit tougher in ways I wouldn't have ever imagined.
     You see, part of going through a break-up is that it makes you stronger and able to move forward. At 22 I am not entirely the same person I was at 21 (naturally). So this year, I look forward to learning new things and becoming the person that fits best in my skin.

Why Nice Guys Get Put in "The Friend Zone"

"Nonthreatening Genitalia"

                                   Have you ever seen this before?

                                                          

     When I first saw this little "Nice Guy" advertisement I couldn't resist rolling my eyes. I thought, " Not ANOTHER guy complaining about being in the 'Friend Zone'"!  By way of another blog, I worked through this whole idea of the "Nice Guy" and why he just can't seem to ever finish first (poor thing). To keep it simple, this blog is to let you "Nice Guys" know what you're doing wrong...A little harsh, I know. But I appreciate you guys too much to let you finish last!

     If you're ever wanted to know why women like "Bad Boys", here it is: We actually don't. We like men who are brave enough not to muddle through life. We like me who are assertive and are not afraid to back down from a challenge. We like men who know what they want and aren't afraid to do what it takes to get it (within reason). It just so happens that "Bad Boys" are more comfortable being assertive and taking risks. That's not to say that that's what all women want, but I'll just let you do the math.

The quintessential "Nice guy" has been boiled down to three words:

-Passive

-Gentle-man

-Boring

By no means is this true, but with ideas like that floating around, no wonder nice guys finish last!

Here's the Problem: 

A "Nice Guy" is content to listen to a girl cry, vent and whine for hours...and hours...and hours. Spend way too much "quality time", wait on her hand and foot.... And then wonder why the girl doesn't see him as dating material. Do you see what's wrong with that picture? I have girlfriends for situations like those! If you can easily be replaced by a girl, don't wonder why you're in the friend zone...slap yourself!

      "Nice Guys" end up in the friend zone because they're too scared to to get out of the friend zone... Or they weren't assertive enough in the beginning to admit their intentions, hence the idea that "Nice Guys" are passive. The problem has nothing to do with the fact that you're shy (look guys, we know it's not easy). The problem is that you let something that you desperately wanted linger right before your eyes, within arms reach, and you didn't take a hold of it because you were too scared. Correct me if I'm wrong, but do "Bad Boys" have these problems? No. Because they see what they want, and they go for it (be it good or bad). So don't be upset if you're in the dreaded "Friend Zone", when you've conveniently positioned yourself there. And don't assume girls automatically know your intentions. 

    Don't go getting all bitter with women and turn into a player (we already know that's played out this year anyways) just because you never figured out how to grow a pair and approach the woman you actually want. 

     However, you should understand being a "Nice Guy" doesn't entitle you to women everywhere. Don't rank yourself in comparison to the lowest type of guys. Yeah, you're much better than Chris Brown, but that don't make you Tim Tebow or anything...

   Yes, rejection does happen. She just might not be interested and that's OK. I'm sure there are girls you're not interested in either. You just get back up and move forward. I know guy's ego's are fragile, but risk really can bring reward. 

In conclusion, "Nice Guys", you're fantastic! We really appreciate that there are men out there who still believe in respecting women and treating them right! So get out there and don't be afraid to ask for what you want! There are plenty of women who are waiting for a nice guy to sweep them off their feet. They want to start a fun and exciting journey with YOU...not a just "nice" journey. The friend zone is a completely appropriate zone....for friends. If you want more, don't waste your time and feelings. Be clear and seize the moments. Risk brings reward...most times....just don't be stupid. 

What's Played Out in 2012?

Alright, it's 3:30am and I'm on a caffeine high that began 5 hours ago! So what better thing to do than update my blog? I've been SO swamped lately that I've neglected my blogging!  With that being said, I've been mulling over this blog Idea for about a week now: What is played out in 2012? It is my duty to make sure that you, my fellow readers, don't go in to 2012 with the old played out things from 2011! So Here are a few things I came up with!


1. Being the "Best". 
Recently, there has been this obsession with being the best. Being "The Best" implies anything from having the nicest tennis shoes to having the nicest car. Or, my personal favorite, being the best rapper or athlete. Look, It's a recession. The great thing about a recession is that it makes everyone a little bit poorer, consequently making people just a tinge more equal. So here's the deal, everyone already knows that you're insecure and that you are overcompensating by having to be "The Best". So save us all the work and just be yourself. Being yourself is totally in this year!


2. Dumb Reality TV shows.
This might be wishful thinking, but I would hope that the world is in enough peril that Jersey Shore loses its influence on American television. Yes, the occasional drunk hook-up is bewildering and somehow addictive to watch,but hey! There are more important things going on nationally and internationally. Being an informed, productive human being is SO in this year!


3. Players. 
Yes, there was a time when being a player was "the thing". According to MTV and BET....it probably still is. Yes, when it comes to husbands and people who have children, being a player is abhorrent. But, apparently, when it comes to singles under the age of 30, it's cool? If I hear another song about someone leaving home with someone from the club I might die!!! All I hear is when I hear such things is, " Blah, Blah, Blah, I'm raising my chance of getting an STD". Everyone knows that being "a player" is brought on by insecurity and perhaps even a lack of a good male influence during childhood. Its sad, yes, but at this point you're not fooling anyone.Respecting yourself and others is in this year! 


4.  Suburban Thugs.
If you have decent parents, grew  up in a decent neighborhood, went to a decent school and got a decent education, why are you acting like you didn't? I really can't stand to see these little thug boys running around campus actin' a fool when they KNOW their major is Biology or Political science. If you're in college, you have no right to act like you are  not receiving a college education! It just burns my biscuits! Being intelligent is definitely in this year! 


5. Twitter.
As much as I enjoy reading your every thought, I don't know if I can take it anymore! Occasional updates are great. I enjoy a little laugh here and there. But, instead of incessantly posting your thoughts online for the whole world to see, why don't you make some new friends and share your occasional musings with them? Making new friends is totally in this year!


6. Rubber Bracelets.
I LOVE that they stand for a cause...But it's time to get real accessories. Maybe you can think of some other crafty use for all those colorful bracelets? Recycling played out stuff from 2011 is SO in this year!


7. Declaring the End of the World.
Resist the urge to carry this trend on in to 2012. I know, I know, " But it's 2012"!!! I feel like people have been saying the world was going to end for the past 30 years. Enough! Just let it happen. If it's our time to go it's our time to go. Peace of mind is in this year. 


8. Being in Love with Teenage Pop Sensations.
C'mon people! Unless you're under the age of 18, this is not acceptable. Like many others, I fell into the trap of Taylor Lautner's glistening abs.....but that's all over now...I think. Being a grown-up is definitely in this year!


9. Weird Lady Gaga Fashion.
Embracing individuality is great! However, wearing ridiculous clothes, tragically miss-matched colors and acting like a zombie may not be the best way to go about it. Sure, everyone gets creative reign over their fashion and appearance, but this is just extreme. So extreme that by following along you're not even affirming your individuality, but actually being the manifestation of  the standard that the entertainment industry sets for us... and that's not cool. Not letting others define you is totally in this year!


10. Metro Sexual Guys.
I missed the part where we need MORE effeminate men? Especially not if I'm still single! I know that most would like to believe that our culture has overcome our belief in gender schemas...but we haven't. We need these men to get out of the nail salon and back in to being strong leaders....or to at least admit they're gay. Either way, metro sexual guys deny me the clarity that I so desperately need. Real men are definitely in this year!